is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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