I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I met the friendliest cop last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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