How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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