you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
