we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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