shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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