There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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