On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
