What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
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Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
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dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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