it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
