she looked like the before picture.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
