i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I die, sorry about rent.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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