I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just google imaged poop.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
