clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
