respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
last night I used snow as a chaser
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
