How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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