White coat. Heels.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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