So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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