I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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