: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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