apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
