so explain again why im purple
no
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
