hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
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I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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