I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
