doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize