Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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