Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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