My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
