The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
