Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
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I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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