She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize