i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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