Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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