im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
