STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I DEMAND FORESKIN
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
