yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
