My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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