sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you inspire me to be a worse person
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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