I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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