You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
