playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
