Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
