Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
