tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
