ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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