someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
