You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
