It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
