Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
