i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
