some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
