oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
