doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
