She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
